Allowing 2017 to Fold

I was encouraged to pick a word for how I’m exiting 2017. This was difficult because I am leaving 2017 a different person than the one who started the year. I wanted a word that was interesting and different, but the only word that feels right is STRONG. It has been a year of such profound transformation for me.

I have learned that I Am enough, perfectly imperfect. Nothing I do or don’t do changes my “enoughness.” I don’t always remember this, but I’ve experienced it for the first time.

I’ve learned to surrender, allow, and ask for guidance. I’ve found stillness that I never knew was there. I have learned to listen to the whispers, allow my path to unfold, and to be open to unthought of possibilities. I can’t always access that, but I’ve experienced it.

I’ve embraced flaws and found strength in my kindness and gentleness.

I have found my voice and given myself permission to use it.

I’ve worked on honoring the flow. The giving and receiving. The doing and allowing. Endurance and rest.

I’ve said goodbye to old ways, to an old self. It was tremendous, like losing a loved one. But I am grateful for her bringing me to where I am now. And I know I’ve got it from here.

I’ve shed layers and realized it was just fuel for the fire.

I traveled back in time to nourish and soothe my younger self and felt the expansion when I returned to the present. I’ve traveled through the stars and back, releasing weights along the way to make space.

I’ve learned that there is always going to be people along the way who don’t like what I have to say. Or don’t like me. And I’m okay with that. It makes me smile now. I know that it means I am being true to myself and that other people’s reactions have nothing to do with me.

I have healed.

I’ve learned about harnessing the power of my thoughts and beliefs.

I have found darkness and light.

I’ve cracked open to let things out and to let it flow in.

I was able to say yes because I have learned to say no.

I’ve learned the significance of “no more’ and “that’s not enough.”

I have experienced the relief of letting go of weights that are not mine to carry.

I feel strong because of what I have accomplished this year and the resources I’ve built. I feel ready to take on tasks with moral and intellectual force, endurance, and vigor. I am seeking to make an impression, stretch minds, and speak up. I am ready to emerge from this year fierce and gentle. Vulnerable and tough. Open and tenacious.7FE31911-4080-480D-8F5B-1AEAD05E6AC4

I would love to know what your word is, please tell!

 

 

More Joy

Last week I received some great reminders. The kids and I had two really wonderful mornings. They just felt different, and better. Those two mornings were spent reading, talking, connecting, and enjoying each other. It is how imagine our ideal “homeschool.” The day pictured below, we brought our book outside and sat in the front yard. It was a really neat 50 year old copy of “Grimms’s Fairy Tales.” We read fairy tales with our chickens pecking and scratching around us. We picked dandelions and discussed the different versions of fairy tales we have recently been exploring.915053AF-94AE-4CA2-8AD3-473191FA811C

It was wonderful. We discussed where stories come from, perspective, story elements (chracarters, settings, plot), and staying true to your heart.

I realized why this felt different. We have not been doing enough of the things that bring us joy. We have been doing schoolwork and to do lists, but I couldn’t remember the last time we had a day like this. Probably because there wasn’t any to recall. We have been out of alignment for far too long. It was clear that what we have been doing is not in alignment with our philosophies and goals. So I am pledging to do more of what I love, more of what brings me joy, and sharing that with my children. I will let my children explore and express their joys as well. Less of what I think we should be doing and more following our hearts.

A verse from The Parent’s Tao Te Ching: Ancient Advice for Modern Parents by William Martin came to mind:

“Don’t mistake your desire to talk for their

readiness to listen.

Far more important are the wordless truths they

learn from you.

If you take delight in the ordinary wonders of life,

they will feel the depth of your pleasure

and learn to experience joy.”