transformation – Kourtney LaFavre

Allowing 2017 to Fold

I was encouraged to pick a word for how I’m exiting 2017. This was difficult because I am leaving 2017 a different person than the one who started the year. I wanted a word that was interesting and different, but the only word that feels right is STRONG. It has been a year of such profound transformation for me.

I have learned that I Am enough, perfectly imperfect. Nothing I do or don’t do changes my “enoughness.” I don’t always remember this, but I’ve experienced it for the first time.

I’ve learned to surrender, allow, and ask for guidance. I’ve found stillness that I never knew was there. I have learned to listen to the whispers, allow my path to unfold, and to be open to unthought of possibilities. I can’t always access that, but I’ve experienced it.

I’ve embraced flaws and found strength in my kindness and gentleness.

I have found my voice and given myself permission to use it.

I’ve worked on honoring the flow. The giving and receiving. The doing and allowing. Endurance and rest.

I’ve said goodbye to old ways, to an old self. It was tremendous, like losing a loved one. But I am grateful for her bringing me to where I am now. And I know I’ve got it from here.

I’ve shed layers and realized it was just fuel for the fire.

I traveled back in time to nourish and soothe my younger self and felt the expansion when I returned to the present. I’ve traveled through the stars and back, releasing weights along the way to make space.

I’ve learned that there is always going to be people along the way who don’t like what I have to say. Or don’t like me. And I’m okay with that. It makes me smile now. I know that it means I am being true to myself and that other people’s reactions have nothing to do with me.

I have healed.

I’ve learned about harnessing the power of my thoughts and beliefs.

I have found darkness and light.

I’ve cracked open to let things out and to let it flow in.

I was able to say yes because I have learned to say no.

I’ve learned the significance of “no more’ and “that’s not enough.”

I have experienced the relief of letting go of weights that are not mine to carry.

I feel strong because of what I have accomplished this year and the resources I’ve built. I feel ready to take on tasks with moral and intellectual force, endurance, and vigor. I am seeking to make an impression, stretch minds, and speak up. I am ready to emerge from this year fierce and gentle. Vulnerable and tough. Open and tenacious. 7FE31911-4080-480D-8F5B-1AEAD05E6AC4

I would love to know what your word is, please tell!

Changing the Script

This week I wanted to share some quick thoughts on changing the script that runs in your head to help ease feelings of overwhelm. I was so distracted by my little one, he soaked my pants with tea while recording. But at least he sat quietly!

Our Stories

I am still reflecting on stories, people’s personal stories. Authentic stories. Dictionary.com defines authentic as not false or copied; genuine; real; representing one’s true nature or beliefs. That right there is what I am passionate about. Discovering our authenticity and living life accordingly. There is beauty and magic in authenticity. In my last post, I shared about connecting with others through stories, we can also connect with our true selves through our stories. Working with our stories through introspection, reflection, and sharing can lead to profound healing and freedom.
So what is your story? Without judgement of what went wrong or right, what is your story? Not just bits and pieces, not your opinion, just the story. Without telling what you think people want to hear, and not because you want people to feel or react a certain way, what’s your story? How does it make you feel? Are you sharing the whole story? Can you tell your story without crying? Our answers to these questions tells us a lot about who we are, and probably what we need to work on. For example, if we can’t share bits and pieces of ourselves/stories without feeling hurt then there is some healing that needs to take place. If you only tell people what you think they want to hear, then maybe you need to overcome some fears and practice asserting yourself.

“Be who are and say what you mean. Because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” -Dr. Suess

Are we taking responsibility for our stories? Is there a sense of control to how stories play out, balanced with some faith about where we are and where we are going?

“This is my life, my story, my book. I will no longer let anyone else write it, nor will I apologize for the edits I make.” -Steve Maraboli

What about the words you use to share your story? Are they uplifting or gloomy? Are there repeating patterns, perhaps there is a lesson we have yet to learn from?
Sharing my spiritual journey has brought many new, remarkable people into my life. My personal authenticity has deepened my connections and relationships to the people in my life. It has also filtered out the people and things that shouldn’t be there. Some people have had new boundaries set for them, while others walked away. But that is where the beauty lies.

“As we let our own light shine, we consciously give other people permission to do the same. As we liberate from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” -Marianne Williamson

My journey has revealed to me that I should be writing and sharing my stories. Not just for my own personal growth, but because my truths may be healing for others as well. I have been writing and filling notebooks, but not knowing what to do with them. A few weeks ago in a prayer, I asked for a sign that I am on the right track. Something to confirm that the writing I am doing is on the right path. The next day I took my four children on our weekly library trip. We had our usual visit of picking out a large stack of books and chatting with the library staff. The cooperation level of the children was quickly diminishing so I knew it was time head out. On our way out my 3 year old wants to get a magazine off the free rack. I said “No, let’s just get to the car.” So he starts crying. At this point the oldest two are now arguing over who gets to hold the doors and I am balancing a 20 something pound baby on one hip and 40 something pounds of books on the other side. The 3 year old is insistent on getting a magazine and runs over to grab one. We finally make it to the car. One of the older two is near tears because they “never get to hold the door!” The baby does not want to go into the car seat, so he starts crying. I buckle in the 3 year old and get in the driver’s seat to take some cleansing breaths before driving home. At home, I am unloading the car of children and books when the three year old shows me the magazine he picked. I got goosebumps when I saw the title because I knew that was sign I asked for. The magazine was How to write your Novel in 30 days.


Whispers

One of the lessons in my story is learning how to listen to the whispers; how to be still, content, peaceful so that you can see and feel clearly how things are and not how you think they should be. I have learned that my passions are connected to my purpose. That buzzy feeling of excitement means you are connecting with your truth. By following that excitement the universe supports you and opens up new possibilities and paths. Guidance is there for you, you just have to ask. Be ready to walk into the gifts that are waiting to unfold for you.